Lignum Vitae

I wish I understood life, but I don’t. I just don’t. I don’t understand people. I don’t understand politics. I don’t understand women. I don’t understand Republicans.

I don’t even understand myself.

So many things I want to do, but I usually do nothing. So many people I’d love to meet, but I avoid the public with due diligence. Would love to be more directly involved in politics, but I’m too honest, and I can’t stand shading the truth with self-serving inflections.

The happiest days of my life? I have nothing to show for it.

The worst days? Cover my heart with hidden scars.

I don’t really want much of anything, other than time, more time. A little place of my own where I can sit and think unmolested.

I honest to God can’t believe that Trump is still president, and as horrid a job as he’s done, almost all of his supporters will vote for him again. It’s a mass hypnosis, the stuff of science fiction.

But it’s here, now. It’s real.

I’m not a man in need of much these days, thank Providence, but I am in dire need of motivation, desperate need of a reason to keep going. I know that it’s almost criminal to squander these resources at my fingertips. But I’ll be damned if I can figure out how to make it work.

*****

A touch of romance, maybe that’s what I need. Just overruled my inner cheapskate and joined a dating site for $149.00. It ain’t much…but it’s worth a try.

Lignum Vitae loosely translates into “The Wood of Life.” It is a very hard wood, said to have magical properties, and that Merlin’s magic wand was made of it.

True confession: I don’t have much these days, at my age, but I still have wood.

And that’s a good thing.