The Endless Fall of the GOP

Congresswoman Lauren Boebert (R) hails from my home state of Colorado and embarrasses me on a daily basis.

Needless to say this mouthy, illiterate high-school dropout with a criminal record is a perfect fit for the modern Republican party.

Speaking for Colorado’s 3rd District, she basically represents the western half of the state and a curious outcropping toward the southeast that reaches up and over into Pueblo like a short fat penis.

A brand new addition to our hallowed grounds of congress, in 2020 she ran against a retired college professor, Diane Mitsch Bush, a woman with four years of experience in the Colorado House of Representatives.

District Three Coloradans voted for the mouthy dropout instead.

There’s really nothing remarkable about Representative Boebert. She owns and operates a half-assed greasy spoon in Rifle, Colorado, called “Shooter’s Grill.” In 2020 it had its license suspended (Lauren refused to comply with Covid orders–surprise). Operational as of this writing, Shooters claim to fame is that the waitresses carry loaded side-arms. Basically a burger joint, Shooter’s was rumored to be on the verge of bankruptcy before Boebert won office but it is now comfortably in the black.

All of that would be irrelevant if Lauren wasn’t such a yutz.

But the fact is that all of Boebert’s financial woes seemed to have magically disappeared as soon as she won office. Don’t take my word for it. Feel free to Google it yourself, but trust me, it’s a murky dig.

Boebert’s strong suit is that she’s a pretty face and just smart enough to adhere to the party line. She faithfully mouths the talking points fed to her by the GOP brass. She likes to carry a gun. She can be depended upon to attack liberals mercilessly and to brazenly say and do the most outlandish things on que.

And she lies through her teeth, which seems to be a prerequisite for becoming a Republican.

Best I can tell, she’s half-owned by the NRA and about one-third owned by the oil industry. The rest belongs to the hearts of her Q-Anon constituency and the fundamental belligerence “base” which is the foundation of the American right (“Let’s trigger the libs!”)

She is a living example of a political party completely devoid of new ideas, a party that stands for nothing but tax cuts and deregulation, a party that literally can’t tell the truth when its life depends on it.

She’s a “disruptor” much like Trump was. Disrupting the political process seems to have become a Republican strategy.

She represents a party that can’t die fast enough yet, like some hideous monstrosity from the romantic era, time and again the Republicans keep rising from the dead.

While AOC is the future of the Democratic party, Boebert seems to be the future of the GOP.

And that should be hilarious…but it’s not.

It might be kind of cute so see some pretty high school girl, face agrin, sitting in the cockpit of your passenger plane for a photograph…until you realize she’s never flown before in her life, and she’s the one landing the plane.